The whole church is deeply saddened by the new from Philadelphia and by the revelations concerning Cardinal McCarrick. The grand jury report on priest sexual abuse is devastating. What was done by those entrusted with a sacred trust was evil beyond words.

The Archbishop reminds us, in a press release, in the St. Louis Review, and in a letter to us priests, of the massive effort now in place in the Archdiocese to protect children and vulnerable adults. We do background checks on and train any adult involved in programs with children in any way that conveys any trust. Want to be at the classroom Christmas party? Then we need a background check. The bar for seminary admission is extraordinarily high in terms of maturity and psychological health. And the bar for actually being ordained 6 to 10 years later is even higher. Seminary is a half decade long job interview.

Yet that is little consolation for the past, and trust so utterly destroyed is not won back with programs.

Paradoxically this crisis of faith can teach us about faith. First, if you want a reason to believe in hell, read the grand jury report. Eternal brimstone seems like but a slap on the wrist of the moral monsters in the report. But… mercy? Mercy. Jesus died for that sickening abuser priest. To see the full impact of Jesus’s sacrifice and the radical message of mercy he came to share we have to be honest about the demands of justice and the darkness of evil. The error of so many bishops and church officials was to ignore, hide, coverup, perhaps in the name of a cheap mercy that was no mercy at all but a terrible evil. Jesus died for them, he knew what they would do, what they would deserve. He who said “what so ever you do to the least you do unto me,” bore the pain of every victim. Yet he still he in agony would offer to them, as he did to the criminal crucified at his side, “you will be with me in paradise,” if they would but repent. How could he? How dare he? This is the accusation of the older brother in the prodigal son, how dare you, Lord! Yet I need his mercy too, I have not done what they have done, but I have not loved as I should. I too have no power to save myself. For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world. Lord save your people!

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In this week’s Gospel we hear again about Martha and Mary. So let us begin with the better part.

Mary: As of Sunday we’re nine days out from the feast of St. Ann, our parish patron. St. Ann is more important than ever today. As the grandmother of Jesus, the loving mother of the Blessed Mother, and a patient believer in God’s will, she is a powerful patron for families. Today there is a seemingly unending litany of brokenness in family life; divorce, death, abuse, infertility, unwanted pregnancies, pornography, infidelity, drugs, over incarceration… While there is much we can do as “Marthas” to help those who are suffering, and as Mary (Magdalene) we can repent , but the most important thing we can do for our world is to pray. Starting Monday for nine days through the Feast of St. Ann on July 26th we will conclude our petitions at Mass with this novena prayer to St. Ann for family life. I invite you to pray with us, either at Mass or on your own.

Novena Prayer to St. Ann
Oh Blessed St. Ann, mother of the Blessed Virgin Mary and grand-mother of our Savior, Jesus Christ,
When life seems barren, help us to trust in God’s mercy.
When we are confused, help us to find the way to God.
When we are lost in the desert, lead us to those whom God has called us to love.
When we are selfish, teach us to cling only to that which lasts.
When we are afraid, help us to trust in God.
When we are ashamed, remind us that we are God’s children.
When we sin, lead us to do God’s will.
You who know God’s will for the family, keep all families close to you.
You who trusted in God’s will, help us to respect God’s gift of family life.
You who gave birth to the Blessed Mother, strengthen all parents.
You who taught the Mother of God, protect and nurture all children.
You whose hearts trusted in God, hear our prayers. Amen

Martha: there are so many that do so much to make this parish what it is. I want to thank all that labor to make our parish such a beautiful community. I want to make special note of three projects you might notice around campus. First, the Men’s Club has agreed to pay the majority of the cost of repairing the blacktop behind the school. That blacktop was no longer safe for use as a playground. Volunteers from the Men’s Club have dug up the rough spots and leveled them out. Next a contractor is going to cover the whole thing with asphalt.

You may have noticed that the sidewalk in front of the most “recent” addition to the school is roped off. Some of the brick work on that side and part of the building has deteriorated rapidly and needs major tuckpointing work. This is a serious enough and big enough project that we are contracting with a tuck pointing company. I want to thank the parishioners who helped identify, assess, and arrange for a contractor to fix this problem before it got worse. Hopefully the bricks stay put and repair work will begin in a week or two. Finally, the Knights of Columbus have volunteered to help pay for and install new LED lights for the Church. These new lights should last longer and use less energy, saving the environment and saving the parish money. Hopefully the church will be “bathed in new light” in the next week or two!

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As I reflect on today’s Gospel of the Good Samaritan, I feel a need to thank you for your warm welcome. Once again I am so privileged to be called to lead this community closer to Christ.

It was such a gift to meet so many of you. As you introduced yourselves, there was a constant refrain of offers to help. And so…

I want to propose having a simple family picnic like event on Sunday July 31st. There are several reasons for this suggestion. More than one person mentioned how nice it would be to have a light-hearted and simple family picnic. In seeing the year 1856 proudly posted on everything, it occurred to me that this year is the 160th anniversary, and that is something to celebrate. The 26th of July is the Feast of St. Ann and that would be the Sunday after the Feast. Finally, more selfishly, it would give me an opportunity to meet more of you. Of course, this is something that can only happen if some people step up to make it hap-pen. If you want to help organize this little event, please contact me.

Speaking of 160 years of history… Many parishes have no documentation from the past. Here, the parish office and rectory spaces are sometimes overflowing with the artifacts of this parish’s rich history. As parochial administrator, I have the obligation to be a good steward of the parish’s past, present, and future. We can’t expect a box of random pictures stuck willy nilly in a closet to properly preserve the St. Ann story. I am looking for some people who would be willing to help build, secure, and share the contents of our parish archives. I, we, need to make sure much of the St. Ann story will be around for parishioners in another 160 years.

Finally, one of the first questions someone asked me is “do you like parish councils?” Short answer: yes. A priest, after leading this community for a long time, knows his people, and who to ask what. I am not in that position yet. I know I need a pastoral or parish council to help me listen to you. In addition, as parochial administrator it is important for me to follow best practices and the advice of my mentor priests. These mentors have suggested a slightly different model of a parish council than the traditional one. Instead of a strictly elected or discerned group, the council will be where leaders of various parish organizations and some at large members gather to share ideas, inspiration, and prayer. I have been at three parishes that implemented this model to general acclaim. July is not a good month for meetings, so nothing is happening till fall, but I ask you to pray for this project.

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As I write this I am still technically Associate Pastor at St. Joseph Parish in Imperial, but by the time you read it, I’ll be the Parochial Administrator of St. Ann Parish. So first, what is a parochial administrator? The short answer is a parochial administrator is basically a pastor. The medium length answer is an administrator is sort of on probation, admonished by canon law and the Archbishop to be extra careful with the parish.

The Archbishop appoints all first time pastors as Parochial Administrators, typically for a year, before naming them Pastors. He has also arraigned for me to have a mentor to help me be successful at St. Ann. Both this period as parochial administrator and the mentor should assure you the Archbishop cares about St. Ann and its future.

So now for a brief introduction: Hello!
I’m Fr. Nick Winker. I grew up in St. Kevin’s parish, now Holy Trinity Parish, right near Northwest Plaza. I’m the oldest of 5 children. I attended the parish grade school, with the exception of 3rd-5th grade when we attended the St. Louis City Magnet schools. I went to SLUH for High School. I studied Computer Engineering at what was then the University of Missouri Rolla. I was involved in the Newman Center on campus and through the opportunities and relationships present there I was able to hear God calling me to the seminary. (God was pretty busy there, three other of my contemporaries at UMR students are now priests and one will be ordained a priest next year.)

I was ordained to the Holy Priesthood in 2010, and since then I’ve served as associate pastor at Immaculate Conception-Dardenne Prairie and St. Joseph-Imperial. Being a priest is a great honor and blessing. It is a blessing that requires sacrifice, yes, but each sacrifice seems to be repaid a hundred fold. I love being a priest.

I am so happy to be at St. Ann. I remember coming up to St. Ann many times during childhood for soccer games. Always carefully watching the speed limit on Natural Bridge. In fact, one year, when my parish didn’t have enough for a team, I played soccer for St. Ann. Today, I look forward to years of growing closer to Christ together.

Finally, I thank Fr. Bill for his leadership here and his kindness to me. I can only imagine how difficult it is for him to leave this special community after so many years.

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Blew it out of the water…
$75,642. That is how much we raised this year at the Sponsor’s Dinner Dance. That is the MOST money raised at the dinner dance in my 16 years of being here. KUDOS to Kate Flatley and her team for an AMAZING gift to this parish. We are already using some of those funds for school repairs, as well as replacing the carpet in Fr. Nick’s sitting room and bedroom. (The gentlemen who is doing the installation said he has been in the business 32 years and has never seen the set up for securing the rug that they used. So, my guess is the rug is at least 33 years old…)

Perhaps you remember, but some weeks or so after I became the Pastor here at St. Ann, I shared my experience of ‘life without a map.’ I realized that I had a vision of what life would be as an associate pastor. But I did not have an image in my head about what being a pastor should look like. My “map” had run out.

So, with great patience, you taught me what being a priest/pastor might look like. Leading from the front, not from the side or behind as I was accustomed to doing. Learning how to say “Yes” when I could, and “No” when I had to. (The Fr. Bernie Nienhaus rule of being a pastor.) Learning how St. Ann worked and who did what. Mostly, I think, just learning the rhythm of life and love and service here at St. Ann as we prayed and played and worked together. Long before I got here, you were ‘doing the kingdom of God.’ And long after I leave, God willing, you will still be doing that.

So, thank you for teaching me how to listen and walk with you in that role as pastor. And now, you get to train another ‘rookie’ how to be the chief shepherd of St. Ann Parish. I pray that you are as gentle to him as you were to me.

As I head to St. Justin, it occurs to me that I am again going to a place where I have no preconceived “map”. But because of you, I can walk into that place trusting that God will be there as he was here. Thank you for giving me that confidence. And know that as often as we partake of the one bread and the one cup, we are joined together in that bond we call the Mystical Body of Christ.

Though no one ever really leaves St. Ann, we do move locations. So my new location is:

11910 Eddie and Park Road
Saint Louis, MO 63126

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Wrapping up
In various ways these past weeks, people have asked or commented on a variation of the same question. Sometimes it comes out as: “Why are you leaving?” or “Why does the Arch-bishop move priests around?” Or even “Did you have any say in the transfer?” St. Paul, no stranger to frequent ‘transfers’ himself, had a profound answer to those questions in today’s 2nd reading. He says simply: “I live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me.”

If this move were just on the ‘human level’ – then it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I am with people whom I love. And two ministries that I love. (And close to the golf course I love.) It is what I have known these past 16 years. Besides, after enduring 2 years of a messed up Natural Bridge, they finally got the street looking lovely… If this world were all that there is, then I would exercise my ‘right’ as a pastor to ‘not be moved without my permission.’

As people of faith, though, we know a bit better, don’t we? “HERE” is not everything. It is a good thing, no doubt, but at the end of the day, we are all just passing through. And like the pledge of celibacy that makes no sense without a referent to the divine plan and the Kingdom of Heaven, the choice to be obedient – the choice to listen to the call of the Holy Spirit when S/He invites me to follow – only makes sense if there is a God. That is the gamble that I have staked my life, as well as my death upon.

If you heard Gary Uthoff’s speech in the parish center, he quoted (impressively) Karl Rahner, one of the great minds and theologians of the last century. “In those moments when we are faced with the question of how we are to cope when things or people are taken from us we can protest, despair, become cynical and cling all the more desperately and absolutely to what has been taken from us. But it is better to abandon with resignation what has been taken from us and accept them as events of grace.”

I do trust this is an event of grace. And like St. Paul, I try to live by faith in the Son of God who has loved me. Because I have experienced how well Jesus has loved me, and how well you have loved me, I can go forward in great confidence. Thank you for that gift.

Let me leave you with one quote that my classmate put on the ‘memorial card’ for his ordination/first mass weekend.
“The will of God will not lead you where the power of God will not sustain you.” St. Augustine

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At my farewell at the Newman Center on Tuesday night, Erin Duffy composed a prayer of blessing and had members of the community pray them over me. I was undone. I had managed to hold it together as various people told stories and shared anecdotes of our time together at the Center. (just barely) And then they started praying over me…

I learned again the truth of the quote from Gandalf in the Lord of the Rings: “Not all tears are evil…”

I share that prayer here, because it also reflects my own prayer for both the Newman Center folks and you, the people of St. Ann.

May you know, always, that you are loved.
May you know your impact, that your actions, your love and your presence has touched the lives of so many.
May you have faith, that you are exactly where you need to be, and are going exactly where you need to go.
May you have hope, that all things are being made new and that on this servant path, all your needs are being cared for.
May you journey with hands wide open, receiving all that God is providing, in every moment.
May you walk in safety, in humility, in peace and in joy.
May carry this community in your heart, as we carry you in our hearts.
We thank you, we bless you, we send you forth as you continue the work of God, as you continue to build the kingdom of God here among us.
We ask all of this through Christ our Lord, and through the intercession of Blessed John Cardinal Henry New-man…. Amen … … … … …

Finally, to answer the most asked question of recent days:

I will officially leave sometime the week of June 27. I have to report to St. Justin at some point on the 30th, and my first mass there will be July 1st. The exact date depends on when Fr. Weber moves out of his rooms (soon to be mine) and they do some painting of the rectory. That date depends on when the priest who is at the parish where he is going moves out which depends on when that priest can move into his place which…. So, by June 30th at the latest…

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Of many things…

For some people, the way to their heart is through their stomach. For me, it has always been my ears. I remember crying one night on a drive home when I heard the Celtic Women’s version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” the first time. It was so incredibly beautiful.

Music has always had that power over me. I was one of the few boys in my grade school choir. My brothers would make fun of me for singing while I was doing the dishes. I took up guitar so that I could accompany myself and others in that favorite pastime of singing. And I am heir to a huge gift liturgically here at St. Ann in our various choirs. I close my eyes and I can still hear the 11 am choir singing that old spiritual: “Over my head, I hear music in the air; there must be a God somewhere!” For so I do – I hear the music and know the goodness of God.

For 16 years, the parish family of St. Ann has been blessed with an amazing volunteer choir. And an even more amaz-ing volunteer Choir Director – Mrs. Kathy Reid. The energy and enthusiasm and prayer she brings forth from the choir as they lead us in sacred song simply takes my breath away. How well you sing with them brings a smile to my heart. And the things she has our Children’s choir doing is equally outstanding. She is an example of what happens when you let God use you.

And, after 16 years, she is stepping down from that role of 11 a.m. volunteer Choir Director at the end of this month. That will be a huge director’s wand to fill.

I have begun a search process. Part time choir directors are not always the easiest to find. In the short term, Mrs. Kate Garrett and Ms. Catherine Tobben will be filling in on most of the Sundays in June. There will be some times when Don Muckerman and Barbara Jackson will be filling in. Yet, I do trust that God is preparing exactly the right person to step into this role. Just as He has with new principals and new secretaries and new teachers and every-thing that has been necessary to keep this parish alive and growing and vibrant. I will work with Fr. Winker throughout the process, and, God willing, we will have another amazing director in place soon…

Kathy, from the bottom of this pastor’s heart – thank you for your years of service. What a gift you have been to all of us!!!

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tableIn one of the more memorable songs from Fiddler on the Roof – Tevya asks his wife Golde: “Do you love me?” Her initial reaction is so human: “Do I WHAT?” After much protesting and going back and forth, listing every-thing she has done for him, Tevya asks again: “But, do you love me?” “I suppose I do.” And Tevya responds: “And I suppose I love you too.” They both sing: “It doesn’t change a thing, but even so, after twenty five years, it‟s nice to know…”

There is a wonderful book called The Five Love Languages. In it, the author says that humans have a preferred way to express love and a preferred way to receive love. Some express love through words of affirmation. Others express it best in gifts. Or quality time spent with the beloved. Others prefer physical touch. Finally, some express love best through acts of service.

My mom and dad best expressed their love through acts of service. I am very much their son in that regard. It is the language that I am most comfortable in – doing acts of service. So I shoveled the walks during winter time. (with a little help from my friends Gary Uthoff and Bob Reid.) And set up lights in the sanctuary for the liturgical seasons, and in the parish center for dinner dances. And ran internet lines through the school and pre-school nooks and crannies. And cooked auction thank-you dinners. And locked up the church on Sundays as I pray/sing for all the people I have interacted with that evening/morning. And cut grass at the Newman Center. In ways seen and perhaps not so visible, I have tried to say I love you by those simple acts of service.

And, in my secondary love language, I use words of affirmation to express who you are to me. Most people would call them homilies. I might call them love letters. Words and phrases that I struggled over to introduce you to the One whom I love the best. All crafted in the hopes that those images and thoughts and gospel questions might inflame in you what they set ablaze in me – a deep love for our Lord. That is what I most wanted you to know – that there is a love Who has known each of you from your mother‟s womb and Who has come, that you might have life and have it to the full.”

I hope you “heard” those words of affirmation and acts of service for what they were – my way of saying “I love you.” My way of expressing the joy in my soul for the gift and privilege of being among you. My way of putting into action (and words) the love that God has put into my heart to give to you. And though, in the words of Tevya and Golde, “it doesn’t change a thing.” But even so, after 16 years, hopefully, it is nice for you to know…

I do love you…

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Perhaps you remember the song “To Sir, With Love,” from the movie of the same name. Performed by an artist called Lulu, it summarized the human journey of these inner city street kids under the tutelage of Mark Thackery (played by Sidney Portier). My favorite words from the song say this: “How do you thank someone who has taken you from crayons to perfume? It isn’t easy, but I’ll try…”

So, how do you thank a parish who has taken you in and formed and shaped you and welcomed you into their families and lives? It isn’t easy, but I’ll try.

Thank you:
for introducing me to the world called Sprenke
for dinner dances and fish fries and late nights in the parish center..
for men’s clubs and ladies guilds and scouting groups and SA(C)PO and parish councils and finance committees – those who do the ‘work’ of parish life
for field days, held both inside and out
for Advent concerts and mass choirs and amazing songs lifting my heart in praise
for the “St. Ann Diner” experience
for “Recycle dude” and images of Bob Reid balancing a bicycle on his chin…
for talent shows and eighth grade plays and spaghetti suppers and advent liturgies
for parish center kitchen and bathroom renovations, for stage lighting controls and pew re-finishing and internet wiring and pipe organs and sound systems – the stuff we’ve updated and created together…
for heavenly dusters and outdoor gardens tended with loving hands and green thumbs
for rallying so consistently and powerfully around the families of those taken from us way too soon
for kids running amok during fish fries
for quiet servants who do things behind the scenes (you know who you are)
for opening your hearts and pews and lives to the good people from Ascension/St. Paul during our merger
for Halloween parties and Christmas gatherings and jubilee year celebrations
for taking in wounded brothers in the priesthood who needed a place of healing and peace
for the way that you all pray the Our Father TOGETHER – Sunday after Sunday. (listen next time – nobody is ahead of each other, no one is behind – you are ONE when you pray the prayer Jesus taught us…)
for your patience in teaching me how to be not just a good pastor, but a holy priest and hopefully a good man.
for shaping me over half of my priesthood by your kindness and witness and example and challenge and faith.
for leaving footprints all over my heart…

Thank you for being so wonderfully and amazingly and generously YOU…

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