As the Kempf family deals with the physical limitations that my mom’s aging and health issues have imposed, I am mindful of so many folks who have stepped into the role of caregiver. I share an article that ‘fell into my lap’ from a monthly email from West County Psychological Associates which you may find helpful.
“Caregiver” is an obscure identity, as there is no single description for what it entails. It, like many other identities, expresses a significant change in one’s life. However, unlike the welcome identity shifts throughout life, this change is often painful and isolating. It challenges us at every level: emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Caregiving wears away our patience and increases feelings of depression and anxiety. We become frustrated with our loved ones and then feel guilty about our aggravation. As a result, we often feel overwhelmed, lonely, and as though we cannot keep up. We feel unsteady in a chaotic situation and question our ability to regain our balance. Due to these challenges, all caregivers need support in order to continue to function effectively.
Generally, these feelings are common but rarely discussed with our family and friends. We worry about what people would think of us if they knew how we really felt; we chastise ourselves for being “too emotional;” we convince ourselves to push our feelings to the backburner and deal with them when we are not so busy. In the long run, these emotions will catch up to us and they cause us to burn out. If we continue to deny our emotions and place ourselves last, then our ability to care for our loved ones will diminish. We cannot keep running.
When we feel overwhelmed, angry, or depressed as caregivers, these emotions are signs to us that there is probably an issue that needs to be addressed. First, we need to acknowledge our identity as a caregiver. Once we are able to say, “I am a caregiver,” we can then begin to understand and address the issues that accompany this role. It is essential to accept the role changes in our lives, and be compassionate and patient with ourselves in the process. When we continue to ignore or deny these role changes, then we subject ourselves to increased stress and declining overall health.
To be continued next week…
Finally, Sprenke time is upon us. Remember to put the ‘hat of hospitality’ on, and to be welcoming to all who find their way here. The stranger you make a good impression on, may be the future neighbor who comes here, precisely because in you, they experienced what we know 24/7 – a warm and caring community…