There are at least two pieces of technology that can grade the quality of your sleep. A fit bit. (I don’t have one, but I know it can be programmed to give you feedback on your sleep.) And the 3rd(?) generation of c-pap machines. About an hour after waking up, mine sends daily reports to an internet site which then assigns me a sleep score. The score is a composite of Usage Hours, Mask Seal, Events/hour (when I stop breathing) and the number of times when the mask is on or off. (aka – how interrupted my sleep is) So I am ‘graded’ each night on the quality of my sleep. I got an 88 last night. I have seen quite a bit of progress since when I first started on the new machine. I am doing better on the quality of my sleep. But here is the rub, I now know that there is a huge difference between sleep and rest.
I suspect you all know this at some level or the other. You can be bone tired, bone weary, and crash into bed after the long day, and wake up 8 hours later and still feel that same bone wearying tiredness. You slept, but you did not rest. Likewise, you can be that same kind of tired, fall to sleep and wake only a few hours later – but you are rested, energized, and ready for a new day. What is the difference?
Though not an expert as to the science behind the ‘why’ some sleep more restful than others (beyond knowing it has to do at least a bit with REM level sleep and delta waves in the brain) my spiritual awareness tells me this. When I am ‘on mission’ – doing that which is at the center of who I am and what matters, then I REST well, even if my sleep is not so great. When I am scattered, fighting someone else’s battles, waging someone else’s wars, not doing that which is at the center of my calling – even though I might sleep well, I am not rested. I become like Job in the first reading – my days are a drudgery…
Jesus knew this pretty early on in Mark’s gospel. We hear today the second last story of Chapter ONE – sometimes called “a few days in the life of Jesus.” They are busy ones. Once he hears of John’s arrest, Jesus begins his preaching. He calls his first disciples; makes his way to Capernaum. On the Sabbath, he cures a man with an unclean spirit. Then he cures Simon Peter’s mother in law. And the whole town after the end of the Sabbath (when it was evening – the Sabbath would be over and they can now “carry people” to Jesus without violating the law’s prohibition to do work.) Finally, bone weary and exhausted, he crashes into bed for some sleep. But it is not restful sleep, is it?
“Rising early the next morning” we are told, Jesus seeks the place, not of sleep but of rest. Of abiding. Of connection. Because, in the temptation of instant success and having whole towns and villages at his door, he knows what dangerous ground he could quickly be on. “Successful but not faithful” would be how I would name this temptation. Humanly having it all together, but in terms of what mattered to God, he could fly so quickly off-center.
In that quiet place, Jesus is re-connects to his mission. “To the other towns I MUST go – This is my purpose.” Only his resting in God’s love allows that kind of freedom, that ability to turn his back on success beyond his wildest dreams, to pursue rather his Father’s will.
So what did Jesus do to transform sleep intervals into rest intervals? Two things, it appears.
First, Jesus finds a place he could be alone and keep his own counsel. Jesus seeks out a place free of noise, people, expectations, demands, and things. Mark describes it as “a deserted place”. The word translated “deserted” is the noun for “desert” or “wilderness”. There are few desolate places on planet earth quite like the desert places in the Middle East. In those places, there is no water, no vegetation, little life – only solitude. Unplugged from the bustle of his new found fame and popularity, Jesus is able to rest in the presence of his God.
We will never find a cure for our exhausted lives until we find our own desert place. It may be a room in your home. It could be a city park or a quiet corner of a coffee house. It could be your car, as you stop a block away from home and turn off the ignition, radio and any other source of noise. It must be a place where no iPad, no iPhone, no laptop, no friends dropping by, no Day-Timer open, and no life-noise (music, words, traffic if possible) can enter. Find that place that works for you in the concrete reality of your life.
And then, in that quiet place, release your cares to God. Let him know of your day and your life and your struggles and successes. And in that prayer, LISTEN. Listen as God reminds you who you are and who God is. Prayer creates a space where we can let go of all that wearies us and allows us to take hold of the only One who can sustain us.
John XXIII, on the evening that he announced the convening of Vatican II, could not sleep. Finally, chiding and challenging himself, he asked: “Angelo, why aren’t you sleeping? Who’s running the church, you or the Holy Spirit? So sleep.” And therein is the cure for our exhausted, depleted, tired lives. When we hear the voice of God in our rest, we can be effective ministers of his grace and love.
What is the quality of your rest? Like Jesus, might we spend time listening to the voice of God sustaining, so we may respond to the voice of God calling us to our mission to transform our world…