At our priest’s convocation back in September, I picked up a flyer put out by the priest’s wellness program. Like many pieces of paper, the pamphlet disappeared for a while amid the stacks of papers and magazines and books that I put aside until I have time for them. Such was the fate of this one, until I rescued it from the pile by my chair. There at the top of the small booklet was a simple question:
“What if you could do JUST ONE THING to: …”
be good to yourself
enjoy life as it is
build on your strengths
be more effective in your ministry
make peace with your emotions
…would you do it?
I admit, even though I know the ‘correct answer’ is to say “yes”, my operational answer is more often “No.” I love going to see movies on the big screen. When was the last time I did so? About 5 years ago when a friend dragged me to a mid-week matinee. I do try to at least set Thursdays aside as my day off, and Fr. Ron is very gracious to cover mass for me, but today was kind of typical for a day off. There was a presentation on new findings about Alzheimer’s and dementia on the campus where my 90 year old mother is staying. Seeing that mom is now facing significant loss of memory, I figured it would be a necessary thing to attend. And then, because one cannot plan funerals, I traveled to Edwardsville, IL for the visitation for a friend’s father. Both are things that I chose to do; the result is that my winter days off are more like a few hours taken here and there.
Page three of the booklet begins with this thought: Stop giving yourself the leftovers. As priests (and as laypeople, though this was written for us priests) so many of us spend our time taking care of everyone else, that we never make our own needs a priority. We take care of our parish needs 100%. We help friends and colleagues and parishioners with what they need. Often our families come next on the list. Then, many of us give ourselves the leftovers, the 5 minutes, squeeze-it-in, of time.
Self care means knowing what fills up your soul, what nourishes your body and mind, excites you in life – and the choice to meet those needs on a regular basis. Just as there is a reason why flight attendants tell you to put on your oxygen mask first before attending to children, so too, is the discipline of self care.
To be continued…
(By the time you are reading this, I will have finished some serious self care on my annual winter vacation on Turks and Caicos Island in the eastern Caribbean… YEAHHH!!!)