It seems a hunter was trying to capture a type of monkey for a local zoo, but the monkey was too quick for him to get his nets thrown over him, no matter how he tried. So he went to plan B. He took a gourd, sliced it in half, hollowed it out and then put a ripe mango fruit inside of it. He then cut a hole in one end, just big enough for a monkey to slip his hand inside. He tied the gourd back together and hung it from a tree, close to the ground. Attracted by the fruit, the monkey put his hand inside the gourd and closed his fist around the mango fruit. But now his fist was too large to withdraw from the opening, and even though the monkey saw the hunter approaching with his nets, he would not let go of the fruit. He could not pull free and so was captured…
I wonder how often, I, like the monkey, like the rich man in today’s gospel, live EXACTLY like that – my fist clenched around something that I just know I NEED to have, when the truth is, God may want greater things for me than what I have in my fist? I found that out sooner than I had hoped.
The yearly “Priests’ Profile” showed up in my inbox, and needed to be returned by this past Friday. It asks about your will and if your funeral plans are made out; who is your durable power of attorney and the like. It also asks whether you would like to stay or are seeking to move on in your current assignment. So I filled out the section entitled: At this time I:.. I quickly found and checked the box that finishes: “would like to stay in my current assignment.” Check. (Can I boldface that check mark? TWO check marks, if I could!) That part was easy. But then the next section asked: “My Dream for my next assignment.” (Wait, didn’t I just say, I would like to stay in my current assignment?) And you had several options to check: Be pastor of a single parish/pastor of a twinned parish. Pursue studies. Do a Specialized Ministry – eg High school, missionary, or campus ministry. And then, there is the ever dangerous “Here I am send me – no strings attached” box. I have to tell you, I wrestled a long time with that section. I had made it clear in the section above that I want to stay. But what was difficult was precisely how tightly I wanted to close my fist around the option of remaining the pastor of St. Ann and Director of the Newman Center.
(look up to heaven) “Lord, like the man in the gospel, is that what I am clinging to, so tightly, that I am missing the life that you want to call me?” (pause, look back at congregation) I don’t know. But at that moment, I completely understood that rich young man who went away sad – because it was so hard for him to vision life without his wealth to rely upon. He was clinging too tightly to what he thought he needed. Just as it is so hard for me to vision a life away from here and from the Newman center. I become, like that monkey, trapped by my own closed fist.
To be honest, I did eventually check that box. – Here I am, send me – no strings attached” should there be another assignment. I was not volunteering, nor asking to leave at anytime in the near or far distant future. I hope the diocese does NOT take me up on that offer. But it was important for me to make that ‘stance’ known – less to the personnel board and more to God. I wanted God to know that my heart is where it always has been, since the day I chose ordination to the priesthood 31 years ago this week. “I will go, Lord, if you lead me. I will hold your people in my heart.”
It is so easy to become comfortable with the known, isn’t it? I know this parish, this neighborhood, this routine, this group of friends. I know what is expected of me. Yet, if we want to find an inheritance in the Kingdom of God, Jesus tells us that is not enough. Merely keeping the commandments was not enough for that rich young man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Jesus wanted him to know a freedom he would never have if he clung so tightly to his wealth. And like the rich young man, we have to be willing to leave behind all that would encumber us, all that we cling to too tightly…
I hope there will be a moment for you this week, when YOU will have the same choice – to let go of whatever you cling to so tightly. Mine came in the annual priests profile. Perhaps it will be the beggar who accosts you outside of Walgreens. Maybe it will be the story of the temporarily halted executions in Oklahoma that God will use to stir you to action to stop the death penalty. Perhaps it will be the struggling co-worker/dorm student who is always asking for a listening ear, and then goes on and on, while you have other responsibilities to attend to. Recognize, in whatever the situation that arises this week, the invitation of which the Lord gave to the rich young man. See the Lord looking upon YOU in love, yet demanding of you a choice – to let go of what you cling to so tightly that it traps you, not where God wants you to be, but where you are. And then pray for the grace to check the box in your heart that says: “Here I am Lord, send me – no strings attached…”