When the Kempf family simplified our Christmas giving years ago, to picking one adult and one of the kids to share gifts with, (and matching your giving to a charity of your choice) the nieces and nephews were a little disappointed. So, we replaced the serious gifting with a “Rob Your Neighbor” experience. You were to bring some kind of gift, whether funny or useful or any place in between, costing $10 or less for the exchange. And everyone was happy, the first year. The second year ended with a very tired youngest nephew in tears because somebody ‘stole’ the gift he wanted to keep. (we roll dice and when you get doubles you HAVE to exchange.) And then an interesting side competition came to being: Who brought the hottest gift?
So, if this gives you any insight into the Kempf family, this year’s hottest gift, (which I scored) was this little book entitled: <<show book>> “How to traumatize your children: 7 proven methods to help you screw up your kids deliberately and with skill.” (How could you even make this up?) The back cover tells you all you need to know about why the book was so popular in our family: “Don’t leave your most important job to instinct and gut reactions.” “Give your children enough material to write a memoir someday.” It was the hot item of this year. And knowing that gives you a pretty good insight into the craziness of the Kempf family.
Today’s gospel also gives us a little insight into the Holy Family – a little snapshot, as it were, that helps you understand the heart of Jesus’ family during those formative years. And if these were normative for the holy family, then perhaps they hold some truth for us. Let me share three quick insights that this verbal snapshot of the gospel reveals to us about the Holy Family.
1) We hear that each year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem. So it’s family custom to pray together, to observe the law together, to be grounded in the community of believers together. All you teens and college students back from campus, when your parents drag you out of bed on Sunday morning or Saturday evening to come here, they really are NOT trying to traumatize you. Rather, they are forming you in the same way Mary and Joseph formed Jesus.
2) We also hear that everything was not completely ‘perfect’ nor without struggle in that Holy Family. Jesus seems to get absorbed in a conversation and loses all track of time. Evidently, it never dawned on him to send word to his parents! Meanwhile, they are frantically searching for him, hearts racing, afraid they would never see him again. Every parent here can understand how terrified Mary and Joseph were for their one and only!
When they did find him, Mary’s fear turns – understandably – to anger. She did not hold back her rebuke. “Son, why have you done this to us?!” Jesus shoots back: “Why were you looking for me?” Did you not know I must be in my father’s house?” I could imagine that later Jesus apologized for HOW he said what he said, but not for WHAT he said. Family means being aware of how our actions affect those around us. And how to expand the sometimes closed in view of who belongs – family is more than just biology but all those who are faithful to God’s word.
And finally, we get a little snapshot into the life at Nazareth. Jesus obedient; Mary, pondering, wondering, treasuring all these things. And Jesus growing in age and grace and wisdom before God and all. Which meant he was doing what all Jewish children would do, being obedient to their parents, learning a trade, doing the dishes, and hanging out with friends, going to school, playing sports, etc. etc. etc.. The Gospel snapshot of the holy family invites us to know that it is never about perfection, but always about figuring out, about mutual love, and about openness to what God has in mind.
The good news, even in the Kempf family <<show book>> – is that it is never about traumatizing our children. Today we draw our inspiration from Mary, Joseph and Jesus, asking that we might be given the grace to become better members of our own “holy families.” Then, what was said of the Child Jesus today might also be said of us someday…that we too grew in wisdom, and the Grace of God was upon us.