There was a period of time at the Newman Center Sunday night mass when the students would gather around the altar for the Eucharistic prayer. We were small enough and the Daughters of Charity chapel was so big that we would kind of get dwarfed. And so I would invite the students to come up around the altar. And it was fine for about a year and a half. But a funny thing happened. Some new folks arrived in our community who felt uncomfortable with coming up around the altar. They were not vocal or militant about it, but no matter how I would ‘invite them’ to come forward, they would stay in their pews. And then we had an experience where the community was ‘not of one heart and mind’ – the pew kneelers vs. the altar standers. Here around the symbol of unity – we were so divided physically, if not emotionally and spiritually. So I decided that everyone would stay in their pews so there would be unity around the altar.
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. With great power the apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus…It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Of course the early church was united in all things. Of course they freely gave of what they had for the good of each other. Of course there was no greed and selfishness. Yet, 2000 years later, I can’t even get 40 college students to agree on standing versus kneeling around the altar during the Eucharistic prayer. Community is such hard work. How do you balance the needs and sensibilities of the one against the needs of the many?
Lest you think the early church got it all right, read the next chapter of Acts – the continuing saga. They were not perfect. But, in the matter of Thomas, they indeed got it right.
Imagine what that week was like between the first and second appearances of Jesus. Did they chide him each day? Don’t you trust us? Did he grumble each morning – “I will never believe it until I see it?” We don’t know, as the scriptures are silent in this matter. BUT, what we do know is this: Thomas stayed CONNECTED to the community. Somehow, there was room there for his doubt, room there for his questionings. He did not need to leave the community. The believing disciples did not cast him out or marginalize him, or call him a ‘cafeteria apostle’ because of his struggle to believe. Rather, together they walked and prayed and reflected. Together they found a way to be of support and love to him.
Perhaps I am a little biased because of my work with college students, but here is a truth (with a small ‘t’) that I have learned in my time with them. What they most need is a place where their doubts and questions and struggles can be voiced, surfaced and honored. They need a community that can reverence their questions as much as we reverence the answers we want to share with them. Because Thomas did not leave, nor did the community kick him out, he was able to be present to experience the Lord revealing himself to him. And in that moment, he knew a mercy that restored him. That is always my hope for this parish and my Newman community – that we know that room for questions and struggles and doubt.
So, what does this have to do with us? 2 thoughts…
How are you doing with the Ferguson stuff? Perhaps like many people, you/I so want to be done with Ferguson. Why can’t we just get back to normal? Why don’t people just make some sensible choices about policing and rights and balancing safety and justice and move on. I suspect the doubting Thomases on both sides of the fence might find it hard to stay a part of the community dialogue these days. So when someone brings up: “What’s next?” – listen first. And second. And third. Hear the questions that are STILL surfacing. The ones that take a long time surfacing. And then pray for understanding.
Secondly, today is Divine Mercy Sunday – when Jesus’ first words to the Apostles offered them peace and not condemnation. How destructive that could have been if Jesus had played the ‘blame game’ or the ‘shame game’. Instead he builds a community around peace and reconciliation. And he states a truth. When you forgive people, they are set free. When you hold them bound, they are trapped. So, today, grant amnesty to a son or daughter for an offence. Make a phone call to the sibling who hasn’t spoken to you since ‘IT” happened. (whatever the “IT” was that drove a wedge between you.) Let mercy be the first choice in your dealings with everyone today.
Pew kneelers or altar standers? Doubting Thomas’s or believing apostles? Might we choose the path to be of one mind and heart…